Things started to change when I moved away to university. That is when my weight hit 190lbs and I thought, "WOW…I need to lose weight". In high school 180lb had always been the danger number for me and now I was beyond that. I remember starting weight watchers for the first time back in 2002. It was the first 'diet' I had ever been on and maybe because of that I was actually pretty successful. I dropped down to around 155lbs. Not too shabby when you're 5'11". I felt fantastic and loved my new body, but I didn't do anything to maintain it and the weight slowly came back.
Then, once I graduated from university in 2003, several things happened all at once. I moved out on my own to my very first apartment (and had to start cooking for myself). I got my first full-time job which just so happened to be shift work and I broke up with a boy. Apparently it was all too much for me as I gained A LOT of weight by binge eating. I no longer really cared about my red flag number and ended up tipped the scale at over 240lbs in a matter of months and my weight has pretty much stayed there ever since. I just didn't care anymore. Depression set in. I felt alone, bored, fat and ugly and tired ALL THE TIME. Due to that, let's just say my twenties were at times a struggle. Food provided comfort A LOT.
|My horse Joelle and I in 2012 when she was only two.|
She's much bigger now!
Nonetheless, I have had successes off the scale since then. Two things happened in 2010 that I am proud of. Firstly I became vegetarian.I did it for diet reasons at first, but I have successfully maintained it for ethical reasons. To this day it boggles my mind, that I could give up poultry, meat, seafood and fish so easily, but a french fry? Forget it! Can't be done.
|2010 Run for the Cure - 5K|
I ran for my Mom (a breast cancer survivor) and had my best time.
Fast forward to present day and I'm now 37. I'm long gone from that first apartment. I'm now a home owner and have been for seven years. I bought a horse from that barn I volunteered at and I married a guy "Lucky"
|"Lucky" and I - 2013|
Since 2010, it's been a struggle to get back on track and give 100% to caring about my weight and exercise. I've had some minor successes like completing a 100 day salad challenge back in 2014, but overall, like always, I lose weight, and then I gain it back. I'm currently at almost the highest weight I have ever been. Just saying that is depressing.
Now it's 2016, and I've decided to return to blogging as I find I need the community support and accountability. I found a lot of success here before so I'm hoping to find it again. My motivation for weight loss is different this time and maybe that's a good thing. I will lose this weight finally. I will get to where I want to be. I will get what I want in the end. I will. I'm in this for the long hall ladies and gents. I HAVE TO BE this time. Here's to losing a lot of fat, to gain a life! A newborn life that is.