Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Sleeping Beauty

Hey Folks,

I've thought about writing for sometime, but I just haven't. Sorry about that. I hope all of you are doing well and kicking ass on your own weight loss journey.

I have been okay. I am still on the medication to help with my depression and I do think it has been helping. I feel less anxious about things, and although I have my up and down days, I feel more like myself. The only side effect that has been challenging is fatigue. This medication has made me very tired. I do take it at night to help, but some days I still wake up feeling drowsy, and if I have a glass of wine in the evening...forget it... I'm a zombie the next day! It's pretty bad. Yesterday, I slept most of the day and today I also had to take naps. I'm not getting anything accomplished.

I tend to push through on my work days and drink caffeine to help, but on my days off it takes everything for me to get out of bed. I have talked to my doctor about it. He says about 20% of patients have this side affect.  Hopefully will get better the longer I'm on it when my body finally feels rested, but I wonder. I wonder because I'm not a woman with a normal sleep pattern. I'm a shift worker, so my sleep has always been up and down. I never feel rested!  I go back to the doctors in March so we'll see. I might reduce the medication. I might ask to switch it. Either way, I'll get the help I need.

As for my fear of the medication causing weight gain. I'm not really sure. I definitely have gained, but  I'm not going to blame the medication entirely. Sure I have new weird cravings for candy that I've never really had before, but I'm making many bad choices that I need to stop making. If not, I will have soon undone all the hard work I did in the fall.  I know I'm in the 230s, which I hate that I have gone back to. I will cry if I hit 240 again so moving forward I want to start doing better. I want to get on the bandwagon again and get back to making positive changes. Lucky and I still have plans to start trying for a baby this year and I really hope to get below 200 pounds before that happens. I know it's possible. I just have to get my willpower back and my motivation.

My father and I are going away again on another european adventure together in mid-June. I'd like to see how much I can lose before then. Lately, my hips have been bothering me again, along with my back and I know it's because of my weight gain and being in bed all the time. I need to do better. No more candy. No more chips. No more fries. Enough. I must do better. I will reach my goal. So help me god.


  1. Glad to see you posting!

    You can do this (so can I)! Start small with just one thing to focus on. For me, it's drinking more water. =)

  2. I admire you for taking the steps to get help and sharing it with us. I don't know how long you have been on the medication, hopefully it is just adjust period and you won't feel so tired. But if it continues definitely talk to your DR.

  3. Depression is just...not good. You be good to yourself. I was in a really rough place this time last year, and it took me awhile (and medication) to finally see the clouds lift. Be patient with yourself; you'll get there.



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