My plan for Thursday (as stated in my last post) was to ride my horse Joelle for 30 minutes. That didn't happen. Joelle wasn't interested at all. I got on her and she wasn't doing anything I asked of her and ended up bucking her back legs out twice. I ended up getting off her soon after and taking her to the round pen to get out all her excess energy on her own. Usually my girl is soooo good, but Thursday was an off day. I know she'll be much better next time.
As my 'plan' for Thursday didn't work out, I asked my hubby if he wanted to go for a walk with me in the evening. To my surprise he did, so we walked around the block which took us exactly 30 minutes. I love walking with my husband, but on Thursday night he automatically turned into a coach. It's like he couldn't help it. He's been sporty his whole life and the man is crazy competitive. He ended up walking a little bit in front of me instead of beside me in hopes it would encourage me to walk faster.
You see, hubby and I are exactly the same height and our legs are about exactly the same length. As a result I feel like my husband thinks I should be able to walk as fast as him. Well, I can't -- plain and simple. Not right now anyway. I know when he walked a tiny bit in front of me he was only trying to help. I know he had good intentions. I know he was trying to motivate me to walk faster and push my limits, but it just upset me. All I ended up feeling was like I wasn't good enough. I felt like despite the fact I was getting my ass moving finally, it still wasn't good enough because in his eyes I wasn't going fast enough. I know he didn't intend for me to feel this way and when I told him he said sorry and felt bad, but it hurt. When talking to him about it, he said he was just trying to be like those "biggest loser" coaches that I love on TV. I told him that doesn't work for me.
Yes, I love watching those crazy coaches on TV, but if Gillian Michael was screaming in my face to go faster, I know I'd have a hard time with it. I'd probably scream back and tell her to F-off. For me my motivation (and pace) has to come from within. If not, I feel too pressured and eventually I end up giving up. The tasks just gets to be too overwhelming when pressure from others gets involved. I know it's all internal crap I have to work through, but for now, this is the way it is. I think hubby gets it now. I hope he does anyway. For now, I just need him to be a supporter and a cheerleader, but not a coach. Thankfully he seems okay with that.
Now... Yesterday and today, I also went for walks. This time I was alone walking while on my break at work.
Today - 30 min
I'm not going to lie. I'm tired. You'd think exercise would energize me, but so far all I want to do is go to bed. lol... Sad, eh? I guess it doesn't help I'm also working 12 hour shifts and woke up at 5:15am both days. The good news is that my hips aren't as bad as I thought they might be. They are sore, but with stretching and the application of my anti inflammatory spray, I am feeling okay. This I am thankful for.
Tomorrow I plan to walk again when on my break at work and then depending on the weather (it's calling for rain right now) and how exhausted I am from working and walking, I'll go and see Joelle and attempt to ride her again. More days than not now, I want to do something to get my butt moving. So stay tuned to tomorrows WI, and next weeks exercise goals!