Thursday, October 30, 2014


I think my mood (and the need to remain happy, positive and optimistic) is going to be my biggest challenge when it comes to exercising and added weight loss. 

I would not say I'm clinically depressed,  but my mood definitely does tank any time there are issues in my personal life between my husband and I or within my extended family. I just can't seem to handle it anymore. I now tend to crumble for a few days after any type of major conflict. Add the fact that I work at a place with clients who have their own addictions, mental health and behavioural issues. Some days, I seriously feel like I'm dealing with conflict ALL. THE. TIME!!! 

It's exhausting.

I can't do it anymore.

Yet I still do.  

The last three days have been rough for me again. Certain things have been highlighted lately that I dislike and struggling to deal with.  My husband doesn't get it, and boy I wish he did. Add the fact that each fall for the last several years, I've struggled to keep my mood up in general, and the fact that TOM is suppose to arrive today, I'm certainly not feeling very 'happy go lucky' lately.  The upside is at least I'm feeling better physically. Hallelujah. 

When my mood drops like it has the last three days I don't have the energy to do anything.   Disappointingly I have not been to the gym like I had planned the last two days. I just didn't have it in me. Yesterday,  I stayed in bed until 2pm and then my mother came over for a visit. She planned to come anyway as she needed to drop something off to me, but ended up staying the entire evening.  Even at 35 years old, some days I just need my Mom and yesterday was one of them. I was so thankful that she stayed with me so long. 

Today, I still feel kinda blah-ish. I still don't feel like doing much or talking to anyone. Hubby took the car to work instead of me driving him. I just didn't have the energy to get up in the morning to take him. As a result, I've had a low key day. I did some cleaning and cooking, but that's about it. 

Thankfully, despite all this drama in my life and the fact that I am struggling emotionally, I haven't binged. Something I would have done in the past. Progress? Perhaps. Instead, I have continued to track every little thing going in my mouth. On my sneak peek WI yesterday, it looks like I'm down a tiny bit so far which is good.  Hopefully it will be more come Sunday.  Despite this though, as soon as my mood tanked, exercising went out the window. Even after I just bought a gym membership! So. Not. Good! I'm not sure how to keep that from happening in the future and that is why I say it's going to be my biggest struggle moving forward. 

I know I need to push myself more, but it's so hard to when I'm feeling down. 

Can anyone relate? 

Any suggestions? 


  1. Totally can relate and find myself getting in funks anytime I'm around conflict, even when if I'm not directly involved. I have found that allowing myself a wallow day and talking to a friend can help drag me back into the right frame of mind. It's hard! Hope you get to feeling better

  2. I really feel for you. I suffer from depression myself, and you truly don't have to be severely depressed to have it be a problem, if that makes sense. Your hormones could be changing, the weather may be affecting you (SADD?), or it could be entirely situational...whichever it is (or all of the above), it's a misery to deal with and makes getting on with what you need and want to do a real carrying an extra burden!

    I wish I had more practical advice. St. John's Wort and SAM-e are natural ways of dealing with it; I have a GoLite, too, for when I'm at the desk. In the end though I had to go on antidepressants (though a mild does). They've really helped me, though you may not need to go that route. Hang in there!



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