I'm a control freak. Funny how I should say that when I've been so out of control when it comes to my food, but it's true. I = control freak.
Perhaps this is why I'm so stressed out with life lately (and have been eating to cope). I can't control aspects of my life and it's causing me more anxiety than I'd like to admit. I can't control family members conflicts, I can't control work and the changes that will come. I can't even control a new relationship and where it will go.
I'm so afraid that the stress and the anxiety will get worse rather than better in the future, and I'm so afraid I'll fall off the wagon again. I didn't binge on those butter tarts last night (other than that one that somehow entered my mouth), and I'm proud of that, but it wasn't easy. Stupid food and the pull it can have on me.
Anyway, perhaps I need to look at this differently. Perhaps I started thinking about dieting again because I can control the food that goes into my mouth unlike other things in my life right now. Perhaps dieting right now is exactly what I need to get me through this crazy time. Perhaps it's the help I've been looking for.
* Switching back to days (for my days off) *