It's been a long hard road to get back to how I was last year before christmas. I was focused, controlled, motivated and enthusiastic back then. Feelings I haven't felt in a couple months.
I feel my mojo is coming back though. Slowly, but it is. Funny enough TV watching has actually helped. Watching shows like the biggest loser and the new A&E show Heavy have helped greatly. They made me realize, I don't have a choice but to go forward. IF I don't, I know I'll gain this weight back and gain 50 pounds more. That is my reality.
Lately I feel I have been going backwards with regards to my weight loss and personal life. I have ate out a bit too much and I've opened a book that I thought was closed long ago with someone. ugh... weak moments do not result in good outcomes. January hasn't been the greatest month, and I am the first to admit that. I'm not motivating others or inspiring others like perhaps I once did and for the first time ever, I've thought about shutting down this blog. I'm not going to though, as this blog needs to see me finally succeed. I owe it that much. I know I have it in me to reach my goals related to weight loss, just like I had it in me to reach my goals to finish school, buy a house on my own, and even buy Joelle. I have it in me dammit! I just need to wrap my brain around the idea that I CAN do this. When watching HEAVY last night, the guy said something that struck a cord. He said something to the affect of, I don't let anything else get in my way of what I want, so why the hell do I let my weight? Good question!
I need to get back to exercising regularly and cooking more. These are what I'll work on going forward, and hopefully results will show on the scale. I want to be around the 200lb mark for my 32nd Birthday in June. I know I can do it if I just stay focused and keep my head in the game. I know I can, so it's about I did!