I didn't run today. I was suppose to. I paid my entrance fee and everything, but I didn't. I partly feel like a failure, but I know I made the right decision for me.
I haven't ran in about 3 weeks. It actually might be longer. As a result, I knew I wouldn't be able to run it like I would want to, I knew I'd probably be last again and I just didn't want to feel bad about it.
I'm finally starting to feel good again and I didn't need a bad run pulling me down.
Judge me if you will, but that's how it is.
I knew if I had a bad run, I'd be all bummed about it, and start feeling sad about it, rather than being happy that I was just out there doing it. I know myself too well and this is how it would go so I didn't go.
I do still plan to keep running. I will not give it up, but for now it will be with friends on own my own time. In the new year I'll pick a new race and share my results with you all.
For now I know I did what is right for me.